Have a read if you want to understand your self better and set the end of the year up well

Following on from my last post, I mentioned that not feeling disciplined is the tip of the iceberg and not the underlying thing that causes a person to become stuck, so is it really the key to success?

Discipline alone is not the only factor contributing to someone not being successful in the sense that discipline alone cannot be achieved at all if the person can’t move forwards and discipline is not there to begin with.

People look at undisciplined people and place judgement on them because they feel they are lazy and uncommitted. Although someone can look as though they have achieved a great level of success but be uncommitted in the most important areas of life, you wouldn’t even know. Look at Steve Jobs, for example; with his work life, he was super committed and even somewhat obsessed, although in other areas not at all. So it can happen to every single person.

What happens is that most people set a goal and try to become disciplined, but they are not even aware that they don’t have the ability to move forwards and wonder why they revert back to the same behaviours after three weeks of trying to achieve the initial goal.

In this instance, what’s buried underneath the lack of discipline and self-control was mostly formed and shaped when that person was younger and was dependent on others to show them their potential and to set an example of what was possible and what wasn’t.

This need for others to show them who they are and what is possible and relay this back to them, whether met or not, can cause a person to become completely stuck and not be able to take action, as they feel that no matter what they do, they can’t move forwards or win in life.

The only thing they have access to that gives them the slightest idea that something isn’t allowing them to stick to their own word is that they feel bored, restless, or unable to change things or break out of routines. They are not even aware of what’s happening underneath this, and society places this as one blanket personality trait called being lazy, being unmotivated, and not being disciplined.

There is so much media coverage around how you must become this in order to succeed, but what these mentors are not aware of is that it can’t just be dismissed because I say, Okay, “now I need you to show commitment here”; I need you to do this, and if you don’t, you obviously don’t want to do it.

In all honesty, it shows arrogance, as they are assuming that because they have done it and achieved it, so can others, with a completely different map, a different past, a different foundation set of beliefs to work with, a lack of understanding of the mind, and a recipe to set people up to feel like failures when they can’t push past this stuckness.

Am I saying that no one was ever able to push past this resistance? No, I am simply saying that it’s not just about being disciplined or not, and some people are more able to push past this than others as they have fewer experiences, memories, and resistance in their minds that are holding them back.

So is discipline required to succeed? not in every area of life, as some people have extremely positive associations for some areas of life and very negative ones for others. An example of this is that you may be able to succeed in the arts and singing, for example, as you find it doesn’t trigger your pressure to perform, although when you go set up a business, it triggers all of the worries and concerns you have about potentially not making it, not succeeding like others told you you wouldn’t, whether you associate success with being good enough, etc., so when a person goes to take action, this is where the delay in them being able to take action starts to happen. When people ask them how their goal is going or how their business is going, they don’t even know how to begin unpacking all the things they are feeling when they try to work on their goals and businesses. With society’s pressures and judgement, they now feel alone and separated.

When a person isn’t shown what’s possible in an effortless way or shown how this young person is indeed beautiful, gifted, and talented for just being who they are and told this regularly. The mind can lose its ability to see how they are deserving of success and that they have all the resources they need inside of them to not only figure it out but also move past challenges, obstacles, and failures in business and goals.

The way it impacts a person in life is that just when they are about to reach a point that resembles success, they start to back pedal, as a feeling of success isn’t a natural state for them. Feeling average, being told you’re doing and being good only if you’re well behaved, and being deserving of success only if you adhere to this and these sets of behaviours This now causes a person to be cut off from all individuality and all creativity, and now business challenges seem impossible without these two natural gifts we have to solve problems as they arise, as well as a feeling of unachievement in all areas.

Here is how this stuckness underneath a lack of discipline impacts one’s ability to succeed:

When you go to take action, your brain goes, I’ll do it later. When you go to make a plane, the brain goes, I’ll watch it later.

When you go to implement a new routine, the brain goes, I’m too busy.

When you start a new business and want to grow it, the mind goes, But I’m not going to be able to do this. It’s not possible. This person must be lucky or have just had the things I didn’t.

Here’s an insight:

It’s a lot more than just discipline and trying to push past it; it makes the journey feel extremely difficult and hard, and it really doesn’t have to be that way.

The best thing a person can do who is planning on pushing past this is

Is to recognise that a lack of discipline is not a natural state,

A lack of discipline is generally a result of resistance to the goal or hiding and suppressing feelings of fear around the possibility of success.

Here’s what you can do to start breaking things down:

Realising that just because you experienced disappointment in the past does not mean you won’t be able to be fulfilled and happy in the future, or that all that disappointment means that you do not deserve success,

Just because no one approves of you does not mean you are not wrong or unworthy.

And when you remove and release this in a fun way,

This is what makes it possible.

Here’s what you need to do to start increasing your feelings of motivation and desire for what you want:

Start by removing your negative associations with achieving your desires; only then will the desire and motivation to learn what you need to learn start to feel stronger.

From there, Consider removing the belief that I don’t deserve success, as this in itself is 99 times more powerful than discipline alone.

Once you have done the first steps, discipline will be built over time; it won’t automatically be there if any of the above resonates with you.

If you are a coach, expert or Practitioner you are invited to my group where I help you break through the above.

No part of my work can be used or repurposed without my consent